I usually wouldn't start a blog until something or someone memorable showed up in my life. But today, two months since my last blog, I met Jake T. After a sweet and loving night with him, I found me like him, maybe a lot...
It was on a cool Fall Sunday afternoon (Nov.9th). I was sitting on my relative(gu nai nai)'s bed after a nice home-made lunch, browsing Jack'd and reading news on netease. These are my Sunday routine at her home, which nicely (but temporarily) provides me with a relaxing weekend day...
A jack'd message reached me. Maybe because it was in English, I opened. (Since I started working in MSL, I paid significantly less attention on dating apps, so most messages with a plain "你好“ got unopened, cuz I really got no time for them!). Jake wrote hi and visiting from the states. He also unlocked his private pici.. I always appreciate it when guys do that! hahaha.
His private pic is just a chest.. so I was immediately let down, and started my first communication with a selfishly blunt "may I see face pic", without making effort to capitalize the first letter. He said sure and uploaded his face pic...
He may not look like the "hot sex type" to many normal Chinese guys, but i found him handsome, especially eyes... He is dressed in a brown blazer with a business casual style. pic seemed to be taken in his closet. He looks a bit westernized.. i like his eyes, which look like a mixture of Asian and Caucasian eye shapes...
Anyway.. Before 9pm when I got to his 京师大厦 hotel.. our chat went very well.. he seemed nice and we both wanted to meet up... On my bus to his hotel, he insisted coming down to the 1st floor lobby and pick me up. I thought that was too much and said it's OK if he just stays in his room. The hotel is conveniently located in a road crossing..It actually looks pretty nice and clean to me, but he previously told me it was shabby when I asked if i could stay over.
I pushed the front door, glanced around, and there he was... standing by the front desk, dressed exactly the same as in the pic, looking at me... We simultaneously identified each other and walked close. He kept a subtle smile on his face and offered to shake hand, a typical American greeting huh? :)
He took me a few upstairs and made us sit down on couch in public area and began to chat. I felt a bit weird why not going straight to room. He asked me what I studied in the U.S., my current work. etc... 5 mins later, he said let's go to his room.
Upon entering, he said sorry again about the shabby condition, but i found the room nice..... (maybe he always had fancy business trips? and poor guy like me don't have a standard?...)
So we sat down, we both seemed very discreet. chatted... He said he completed his Biology PhD in Boston.. I asked Harvard? Nodded.... WOW... Positive impression increased exponentially...He went abroad in 2001, first to UCSD for master's, then Harvard for PhD. After about 5 mins of non-sexual talk, he asked me to come over to give me a hug.... It was nice... cuz I already found me like him... he went to Harvard Bio... smart guy... handsome face... seemed nice... my heart was pounding during the stand-up hug and gentle kiss...
The rest of the night was sweet and loving... We didn't rush to hardcore. We had plenty of fondling, kisses, sucking, nipple licking... we talked in the middle of fun... Turned out he isn't a potato queen.. He doesn't like White guys...he said he had "maybe" (lol) just one Chinese boyfriend. He thinks that there is implicit work discrimination against Chinese in USA. He has been working in the current company for 5 years. He said he has inferiority complex because his size is smaller than many guys... I could totally relate to him, cuz I used to experience some of the things he said... Before we went to sleep, he asked me to apply medical fluid and massage the bruised parts of his body (the other day, he and a guy had a fight in his room cuz the guy used fake pic and turned out to be a money boy asking for money. when Jake refused, he was going to smash things in the room). He seemed to like my massage... when i sat next to him, massaging him with my hand, we looked at each other in the eyes... it made me shy looking at each other so closely, but I definitely felt loving and sweet... He likes the feeling when we two cuddle together, with him lying flat down on his back, and me lying on my side, with my head on his shoulder and my one arm over his belly. We kissed a lot in this gesture. He called me "little baby" and i called him "big bro"...
The next morning at 6:30am, he came up and lay down next to me ... we made out just like the night before. eventually, he topped me... and he used his hand to jerk me off...
He gave me his room card to let me have breakfast buffet on the first floor. After that, I went up to his room again. He asked me again to apply medical liquid to his body.We looked at each other in the eyes while I massaged him... it was sweet, but I guess that we both knew what we did was for one night... after massaging, he asked me again to lie down and cuddle with him... it was sweet... but short... at around 10:30, he said maybe it's time for work.. and i got up and got dressed.
He came up and kissed me while I got dressed... It made me feel happy, cuz he must liked me... when i collected all my stuff and walked to the door, he stood in front of me and we kissed again. He said let's keep in touch... I was so glad to hear that he'd like to continue contact. I asked him to send me a pic of him if he doesn't mind, but he moved his eyes down a little bit and only slightly nodded. He told me not to work too tiredly, and i told him the same, and also told him not to see discrimination that he mentioned as too big a deal... then i left...
On my way down, I took a few pics in the hotel that could help me remember the night: his room, the lobby, the angle that I saw him at the first sight...
For the rest of the day, I felt a bit sad. It was weird... cuz i knew what we did was 419, but i did found myself like him... when he replied to my messages on wechat, it always made me happy. i wish we could keep in touch... but i don't know as time goes by, will he like me less, talk less, and eventually ignore? And to this moment that im writing this blog, he has not sent a pic of him.. maybe he is too discreet? hasn't fully trusted me? doesn't really wanna keep contact? i don't know...
For several times, I wonder what i like about him... very few guys made me like them to the point that prompts me to record the encounter in blog. The last time i did was two months ago with that Chongqing consulting guy..
Maybe I like him cuz he went to Harvard and he's smart? Maybe I like him cuz he looks handsome to me? Maybe his eyes, which possess Asian and White mixed shapes, got me hypnotized? Maybe I like him cuz he works as a successful manager in a pharmaceutical company and must make lots of money? Maybe I like him cuz he has a green card that I longed for?
Thinking more deeply and thoroughly, maybe I like him because he brought back my nostalgic New England memories... Maybe I saw him not only as a vivid person, but as a hope.... I have always hoped to go abroad again, got scholarship, finish degree, immigrate, have a good job, live a better life... just like what Jake has achieved... Considering this aspect, maybe I like him cuz I admire his life experience?
I will def keep in touch. I do like him. But because of remote distance, I will not be excessively sad or overly excited if he chooses to ignore or our chat becomes dull and not good for continuing...
The best thing about him: whenever i think of him, his story, the sweet night, i really wanna work hard and go abroad (and be with him? haha)... he somehow stands like a hope, or a light to me... I think he is successful and I wanna be the same...
